Deer friend:

Today, you woke up at 04:30 and exercised for a bit for the first time since a long time ago. You have always postponed exercising because you're too shy to do it in front of others. It's always so daunting when other people are watching. There's still CCTV cameras but that's OK. Most people are literally asleep. The world feels kind of peaceful at 04:30. It's quiet and rarely is there anyone awake to judge. This might just be the spotlight effect and you might just be overthinking this. However, you feel that you've taken the first step towards self-care/proper self-maintenance so that you can set yourself up to be able to do cool things later.

Waking up at 04:30 is hard because you have to sleep before most do and wake up before most do. Exercising is hard because it's not really something the majority of people do when they have so little time. You have to go out of your way to do it.

There's all sorts of resistances that makes doing the good things hard. But it's also what makes it worthwhile. Not everyone chooses to do it. But you do it. And you're doing fine. The next step is consistency.

Sincerely,

Twice B. Hathaway